Mid-Trip Crisis

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, 

do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, 

giving thanks to God the Father through him."

-Colossians 3:17

Yikes just came back from a 6am yoga session hosted by my apartment. I thought I would be able to go back to bed after but yoga turned out to be more intense than I expected. I didn’t sweat or anything but those poses definitely woke me up.

It's Week 7 of 13, which means today marks the halfway point of the semester (not counting breaks and exam period. Exams never count). Next Thursday will be the halfway point of my stay in Australia (already?!). As I approach these “landmarks,” I’m made even more aware of the fact that my stay here is temporary. I’m not in “normal” life, as this would never be normal life for me. But it’s also a good time to think about what I want my “normal” life to look like in light of what I’ve experienced so far. How much will change?

I came to Australia with many goals, some already accomplished and some soon to be accomplished (or easy to accomplish). I’ve learned to surf, made Australian friends, spent time with my relatives, and become a decent cook (or at least able to sustain myself). I’m making (slow) progress in the Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto, am part of a Christian fellowship, and I’ve even found an Ultimate Frisbee community (they’re so fun). I’ve also tried many new things: taekwondo, Kangaroo jerky, dancing, Vegemite, touch rugby, and yoga. I’m studying (kinda, but I did get 10/10 on that mini-exam PTL) and doing the assignments on time! I have yet to hug a koala, attend a Hillsong service, and pick up an Australian accent, but the first two are on the calendar and I’m working on the third. 

But I feel like I haven’t made any headway in my largest goal: finding myself/ my future/God’s plan for me. I dread the moment when people ask me what I study because I hate the shocked reaction that EE & Music brings and the follow-up question: “How are you combining them?”/“What’s your plan after you graduate?” I’ve tried switching to Maths & Music but people are still surprised. Ugh. I haven’t had a light bulb moment or some grand revelation of what my future should/would look like. I have heard small whispers here and there, not about the future, but about who I am now. How talented and skilled and equipped I am. How independent and self-sufficient I tend to be. How easily I shut people out. How hard it is for me to say no. How much I think (but I already knew that). 

I think about how the temporary-ness of my stay here affects/should affect the way I live. I know I have priorities, but how much do I allow them to change when I know I won’t ever make the same decisions back home (is this the definition of integrity?)? I struggled between volunteering at the Blackbutt Avocado Festival versus keeping my Sunday for worship. I also kinda really wanted to go to the ultimate frisbee party Saturday night (hey I’m legal), but ended up staying at the apartment making cards (I don’t regret my decision). How do I make the most of every opportunity while balancing the fact that I’m living for eternity? Or is it not a balancing act, but always holding onto uncompromising values? 

Being here has also opened my eyes to the world, literally. I’ve met people from all over the planet and heard a plethora of life journeys. Everyone’s story is unique, shaped by his/her personality, aspirations, and culture. I’ve also come to realise how small-minded I am; there’s so much more than just Silicon Valley, California, and the USA. I’m so focused on myself, my immediate surroundings, and what I can get out of this experience when there's so much more than me. I'm actually quite insignificant. Perhaps life is like that; it’s not really about me (haha go figure), but about living each moment in worship and glorifying our Saviour. 

Thanks everyone for following my Aussie adventures; we're almost halfway there! For those who pray, please pray that I will make the most of the rest of the trip. I would ask you to pray that I can find direction while I'm here, but that'd be selfish and wrong. Instead, please pray I can do everything in the name of Jesus with thanksgiving and bring Him glory, and that I won't worry about what's up ahead but take comfort in His constant presence. Thank you!

~

I learned about German politics on the way back from Ultimate pickup last night. Felix and I take the same bus, and he explained that there are four major parties in Germany (plus a ton of smaller ones), and the state governments also have to vote in order for a law to pass (I didn’t know Germany had states I’m so clueless). And Germany has >3 times the population of Australia despite being only one quarter of its size?! Mind-blown. Also patriotism is looked down upon, which makes sense in light of Germany’s history. So interesting. Another thing I really enjoyed about our convo was that another student overheard it and jumped in. He helped Felix translate a few words and explained basic income. I admired this student’s fearlessness to enter our “interesting” convo and our openness in allowing a “stranger” into the discussion. I wish more positive, spontaneous moments like these happened.

I’ve also been sharing food! It’s a very easy way to love and make people smile. As our family always says (paraphrased), “Food doesn’t taste good unless it’s shared.” It allows me to make more food but also cook frequently. I made seven lunch boxes recently and gave away the majority. Sharing also gives me to try things with less guilt. Keiko and I split a doughnut after our dinner on Monday (it’s one of those places that sells extravagant and expensive doughnuts). And when the red bean soup expands more than expected, there are others who want some 😃. I’m also cooking for our fellowship this Friday! So excited :) Haha somehow I always end up talking about food. Hope y'all don't mind. Until the next post